Sum of the Parts

Puzzle Pieces

Photo Courtesy of Horia Varlan.

“We are the sum of all people we have ever met; you change the tribe and the tribe changes you.” Dirk Wittenborn, Fierce People

We are all the sum of who we meet, interact with, and let into our lives.

If the two people you hang out with this most are negative and always talking about bad things happening to them guess what your other friends probably hear you talk about the most?

There is also an economic theory that states if you take the five people your are closest to and average their income the result will be close to what you earn.  Not only can those around you influence your state of mind but they may also be influencing your income.

If you want positivity and good things happening around you then you have full control to set yourself up for that.  Stay away from the negative people.  Surround yourself with the cheerleaders who are rooting for you and those that want to see you succeed.

I know this can be hard because the process means you leave people behind or remove them from your life altogether.  But the quicker you realize you can’t change other people but you can change yourself the quicker you can move into the life you want.

If you must leave someone behind you can always help them back into your life when they are ready to make a change.  Think of it like taking a break rather than leaving them out of your life.  Be ready to help those that need your help.

“You are, in fact, a mashup of what you choose to let into your life.  You are the sum of your influences.”  Austin Kleon, Steal Like An Artist

Question:  Are there people in your life that are always negative that you need to take a break from?

Who Shaped Your Life?

Jason Mraz

Musician Jason Mraz

Have you ever took a real look at how other people have shaped your life? Even the mean people who bullied and made fun of you in school. No matter what happened they helped shape the person that you have become today.

Take a few minutes and write down some of the people who helped you become the person you are.  Not the people who helped you get a job or repair your house but those that influenced your character; your being.  Reflect on those people and whether it was a good or bad experience at the time be thankful for the person that you are today.

Take a moment to watch the following video of “They Shaped My Life” by Jason Mraz to see what I am talking about.  I think this song sums up how we should all be grateful for who we are and the people who are written in our life story.

The Other Perspective

Perspective - Disney's Hollywood StudiosHave you ever thought about what the other person is thinking?  Even if they are being hateful what might be going on in their lives?

When someone cuts me off in traffic my first reaction is to get agitated.  Then I calm down and often the way I do this is to think to myself that I don’t know what is going on with that person and maybe it was an honest mistake.  When we have knee jerk reactions we tend to do or say things that we don’t mean or, at least, don’t mean them to be as hateful as we said them.

When someone pisses you off do you stop to think about what they are going through?  Do you try and look at it from their perspective?

Each of us are individuals with our own thoughts and minds and three of us looking at a picture might perceive three different things.  If you look at the picture to the left you might see something totally different than me.  Let’s say three people are looking at it and these are their perspectives:

  1. A quiet street.
  2. A nice shot of San Francisco with the Golden Gate Bridge in the background.
  3. A picture of a building.

All three people have legitimate perspectives.  It does look like a quite street (maybe it is early morning and the sun just rose.  You can see a bridge in the background which may very well be the Golden Gate leading you to believe this is in San Francisco.  And the brown building on the right tends to stand out a little so maybe that really is what this picture is of.

However, all three would be wrong.

This is a picture I took at Disney’s Hollywood Studios at Walt Disney World.  This was a backlot like they shoot movies on.  Those buildings are fake and the sky and buildings in the background are plastered on a wall.

This is simply a rather long explanation to say when someone does something you don’t like, don’t agree with, or what have you take a moment and try and see their perspective on the matter.  You still do not have to agree but looking at it from both sides can help you understand where the person is coming from and in matters where a decision has to be made can help to make one that satisfies all parties involved.