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You Get Used to It

March 5, 2014 By
Glasses

Photo Courtesy of Sinchen Lin.

It has been said many times that you become like those who are around you and to choose your friends wisely.  The problem we have as people is that we usually don’t realize that those around us have changed us so much until we have been there a while.  If you want to own a business but you are hanging out with people who enjoy not working you will very likely wake up one morning and realize you haven’t worked on your business for quite some time.

Iyanla Vanzant once said “Your eyes will adjust to the level of deficiency present.”  She was referring to how gradually your eyes change and compensate for each other and that is why it takes so long for you to notice that you need glasses.  Once day you realize that you aren’t seeing quite as well as you once were.  This line was used by her to demonstrate that we do the same thing with the people we hang around with and how we change as people because of it.

This isn’t to say not to be friends with those who are different from you.  Even those who don’t want nearly the same things in life can be great friends and supporters.  Just remember, if you want to be a pilot you need to spend time hanging out with pilots.  They are the ones that can help you soar to your dreams.

 

Filed Under: People Tagged With: , , ,
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Sum of the Parts

August 14, 2013 By
Puzzle Pieces

Photo Courtesy of Horia Varlan.

“We are the sum of all people we have ever met; you change the tribe and the tribe changes you.” Dirk Wittenborn, Fierce People

We are all the sum of who we meet, interact with, and let into our lives.

If the two people you hang out with this most are negative and always talking about bad things happening to them guess what your other friends probably hear you talk about the most?

There is also an economic theory that states if you take the five people your are closest to and average their income the result will be close to what you earn.  Not only can those around you influence your state of mind but they may also be influencing your income.

If you want positivity and good things happening around you then you have full control to set yourself up for that.  Stay away from the negative people.  Surround yourself with the cheerleaders who are rooting for you and those that want to see you succeed.

I know this can be hard because the process means you leave people behind or remove them from your life altogether.  But the quicker you realize you can’t change other people but you can change yourself the quicker you can move into the life you want.

If you must leave someone behind you can always help them back into your life when they are ready to make a change.  Think of it like taking a break rather than leaving them out of your life.  Be ready to help those that need your help.

“You are, in fact, a mashup of what you choose to let into your life.  You are the sum of your influences.”  Austin Kleon, Steal Like An Artist

Question:  Are there people in your life that are always negative that you need to take a break from?

Filed Under: Life Coaching Tagged With: , , , , , ,
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The Other Perspective

November 19, 2011 By

Perspective - Disney's Hollywood StudiosHave you ever thought about what the other person is thinking?  Even if they are being hateful what might be going on in their lives?

When someone cuts me off in traffic my first reaction is to get agitated.  Then I calm down and often the way I do this is to think to myself that I don’t know what is going on with that person and maybe it was an honest mistake.  When we have knee jerk reactions we tend to do or say things that we don’t mean or, at least, don’t mean them to be as hateful as we said them.

When someone pisses you off do you stop to think about what they are going through?  Do you try and look at it from their perspective?

Each of us are individuals with our own thoughts and minds and three of us looking at a picture might perceive three different things.  If you look at the picture to the left you might see something totally different than me.  Let’s say three people are looking at it and these are their perspectives:

  1. A quiet street.
  2. A nice shot of San Francisco with the Golden Gate Bridge in the background.
  3. A picture of a building.

All three people have legitimate perspectives.  It does look like a quite street (maybe it is early morning and the sun just rose.  You can see a bridge in the background which may very well be the Golden Gate leading you to believe this is in San Francisco.  And the brown building on the right tends to stand out a little so maybe that really is what this picture is of.

However, all three would be wrong.

This is a picture I took at Disney’s Hollywood Studios at Walt Disney World.  This was a backlot like they shoot movies on.  Those buildings are fake and the sky and buildings in the background are plastered on a wall.

This is simply a rather long explanation to say when someone does something you don’t like, don’t agree with, or what have you take a moment and try and see their perspective on the matter.  You still do not have to agree but looking at it from both sides can help you understand where the person is coming from and in matters where a decision has to be made can help to make one that satisfies all parties involved.

Filed Under: Life Coaching, People Tagged With: , , ,