You are here: Home / Home
post

Remember the Journey

May 29, 2013 By
Oak Island, NC

Oak Island, NC – One of our journeys to the ocean.

Do you remember to remember your journey?

Many times getting to where you currently are or where you want to be is an extreme struggle.  You tend to want to forget the pitfalls and the things that tried your last nerve.  However, that journey is part of you and you should remember and be proud that you made it; that you were able to reach the destination.

Remember Wilson from the television show Home Improvement?  He told Tim a story about a gift.  This isn’t verbatim but it is the deep story:

There was a child in Africa who wanted to get his teacher a present but he had no money.  The child decided to walk two days to the ocean, picked up a handful of sand, and returned home.  Once there he gave his teacher the sand where she said “But the ocean is so far away!”  The little child responded “The journey was part of the gift.”

So remember, the journey is part of the gift to yourself.  Cherish it. Journal it.  Remember it.

 

Filed Under: Life Coaching Tagged With: , , , , , ,
post

I Dare You

May 22, 2013 By
Jason Kincaid

Professional wrestler Jason Kincaid on top of the world doing a handstand overlooking a deep gorge.  Photo by Will Trotter.  Used with permission.

This week I wanted to share a small piece from the book “I Dare You” by William H. Danforth.  I hope it means something to you.

I loved it the first time I heard these lines.  We were digging through a bin of books and came across a small leather-bound red one with “I Dare You” in silver ink on the cover.  I dare you, after reading this, to go do amazing things for other people.

I DARE YOU!

IT IS DIFFICULT to put a challenge on paper. I would rather look you straight in the eye and say, “I dare you!” In my mind that’s exactly what I am doing. I am on one side of a table. You are on the other. I am looking across and saying “I dare you!”

I Dare You, young man, you who come from a home of poverty—I dare you to have the qualities of a Lincoln.

I Dare You, heir of wealth and proud ancestry, with your generations of worthy stock, your traditions of leadership—I dare you to achieve something that will make the future point to you with even more pride than the present is pointing to those who have gone before you.

I Dare You, young mother, to make your life a masterpiece upon which that little family of yours can build. Strong women bring forth strong men.

I Dare You. boys and girls, to make life obey you, not you it. It is only a shallow dare to do the foolish things. I dare you to do the uplifting, courageous things.

I Dare You, young executive, to shoulder more responsibility joyously, to launch out into the deep, to build magnificently.

I Dare You, young author, to win the Nobel prize.

I Dare You, young researcher, to become a Microbe Hunter.

I Dare You, boy on the farm, to become a Master Farmer—A Hunger Fighter.

I Dare You, man of affairs, to have a “Magnificent Obsession.”

I Dare You, Grandfather, with your roots deep in the soil and your head above the crowd, catching the rays of the sun, to plan a daring program to crown the years of your life.

I Dare You, who think life is humdrum, to become involved. I dare you who are weak to be strong; you who are dull to be sparkling; you who are slaves to be kings.

I Dare You, whoever you are, to share with others the fruits of your daring. Catch a passion for helping others and a richer life will come back to you!

William H Danforth

 

Filed Under: Business, Leadership, Life Coaching, Motivational, People Tagged With: , , , , ,
post

Go First

May 15, 2013 By

Jon AcuffOn a recent EntreLeadership Podcast Jon Acuff mentioned something I really liked and wanted to share.  He mentioned that as a leader you need to take the first step and allow everyone else to go second.  Why?  Because it is easier to go second and more people will follow.

This is something all leaders need to understand.  To get people to follow you have to go first (sounds obvious, right?).  But so many “leaders” want to tell people where to go instead of leading them where to go.  People are more likely to follow your actions.

Imagine working in a fast food business and you see your manager empty the trash every night while you are doing the final cleaning.  He doesn’t call attention to it but you notice that he is doing it.  One night he is swamped with office work and without considering anything you simply go and take out the trash without being asked.  Why did you do this?  Some will answer because it is their job.  I expect many others will say it is because their LEADER does it all the time they were willing to help him out without being asked.

There was an excellent TED Talk by Derek Sivers on “How to Start a Movement” where one person is in a park and starts dancing (the leader) which made it easier for a second person, then more, and more, and more until they had a group.  The hardest thing was not the dancing but being the first one to dance.

If you want to be a leader then do it first.


Filed Under: Business, Leadership Tagged With: , , , , ,
post

Change Starts Within

May 8, 2013 By
What change do you want to see in the world?

Image courtesy of Dreamfish.

You can only control yourself.  No matter how much you want to change other people you have no control over them – you are not their keeper.  But if you really want to change the world look within yourself.  I can’t say it any better than this:

“When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country. But it too seemed immovable. As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me. But alas they would have none of it. And now as I realize as I lie on my deathbed, if I had only changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family. From their inspiration and encouragement I would have been able to better my country and who knows, I might have even changed the world.”

That inscription is on a tomb dated 1100 A.D. in Westminster Abbey.  I think the person who created it sums it up perfectly.
Filed Under: Life Coaching, Motivational Tagged With: , , , ,
post

Book Review: Keep Your Eye on the Marshmallow

May 6, 2013 By

Keep Your Eye On The Marshmallow

“Keep Your Eye on the Marshmallow” is a follow-up book to two previous releases that discuss the “Marshmallow Principle.”  It is written by Joachim de Posada.  *Note:  I have not yet read the first two books and it is not necessary to have done so to read this one.*

I really enjoyed the parable and I believe you can get a lot out of this book.  It really puts into perspective delaying gratification and why you should do so.  It also shows work-life balance which I often see as a problem in our hustle, on the move, world.

Arthur, the main character, is easy to like.  You probably know an Arthur or you may be him yourself.  He is a go getter that goes out and does a great job.  However, he is stagnant and doesn’t want to take that next step toward greatness.  He fears losing his family and seeks council where you really get into the meat of the material.

After the parable de Posada gives us Shawn Achor’s five actions to take everyday.  I think this is something great that goes right along with the book and it stood out to me because I do most of these things but it shows me that if I do the couple that I have not started that I can make a huge difference in myself.

The book is a quick and easy read.  I would recommend this book to anyone who feels they have problems with self-discipline or want to get ahead but just aren’t sure what is stopping them.

If you would like to get other peoples point of view or purchase the book you can do so on Amazon.

*Note: I received a copy of this book at no charge in exchange for my honest review.*

Filed Under: Book Reviews Tagged With: , , , ,
post

Give Something Today

May 1, 2013 By

Jeff McBrideJeff McBride is a magician that I have been studying for many years. When I got into magic in my teens I was fascinated with some of the things he did with playing cards. Later on I would listen more to what he had to say rather than what he was doing in his act. One of the consistent things I would hear was to create a magical moment for someone just to be doing it; just to gift them that moment.

I think this is something that everyone should do on a regular basis.  Think of something you can do for someone that might be out of the ordinary for someone to do but extraordinary for the person you are doing it for.  Think about something as simple as sending a letter to a manager telling them what a good clerk they have working for them.  Do you know how rare a compliment is like that and how you can stand out and make a day brighter?

Think of something you can do at least once a week, preferably once a day, to help make someone’s day a little brighter.

 

Filed Under: People Tagged With: , , , , ,
post

It Is How You Say It

April 24, 2013 By
words

Photo Courtesy of Susana Fernandez

My dad always told me “It isn’t what you say but how you say it.”  I lost count long ago on how many times I heard this as a child.  As an adult I can appreciate what it means.

When you are speaking with anyone whether it is personal or business you must say what you mean and how you mean it.  This is conveyed by tone of voice, volume, and, of course, body language.

Be conscience of how you speak to someone.  If you can tell that you are loud then make an effort to take your volume down a couple notches.

Speaking, just like all other skills, takes practice.  Actively practice and you can become great!

I wanted to share this video with you as well.  It shows that the words you use can change everything.  Enjoy!

Filed Under: Business, Leadership, Life Coaching, People Tagged With: , , , , , , ,
post

Book Review: Is College Worth It? by William Bennett and David Wilezol

April 22, 2013 By

Is College Worth It“Is College Worth It?” by William J. Bennett and David Wilezol goes into detail about why college needs to change and the fact that it isn’t the right choice for everyone to go through a 4-year college program.

I have to say this book was amazing.  It talks about many views that I have expressed over the last decade and I think they hit it out of the park with this one.  Bennett and Wilezol backup their findings with statistics including the large amount of unemployment that nags at the recently graduated.  Most importantly they talk about the huge amounts of debt that plague those who don’t even make it as far as graduation.

Higher education does not necessarily mean a 4 year undergraduate program.  For many it may be a trade school, apprenticeship, or certification program.  If these alternatives to a college get you into a job that you enjoy doing then by all means go for it.

Let me stress that this book is not 200 pages of “do not to go to college”.  It is, however, a book that tells you that you need to research going to college in detail including what you are going to study, what schools will prepare you best for that study, and at the best price for the money you are going to put into it.  The college goer also needs to research whether careers are available to them in the field that they are wanting to go to college for.

I highly recommend that every high school student and parent read this book.  You will be much better prepared to make a decision on how you want to pursue higher education.  It shows other options rather than a traditional 4 year program that in many cases can make you more money over your lifetime than a BA.

If you would like to get other peoples point of view or purchase the book you can do so on Amazon.

*Note: I received a copy of this book at no charge in exchange for my honest review.*

Filed Under: Book Reviews Tagged With: , , , , , ,
post

Morning Rituals

April 17, 2013 By
Morning Sunrise

Photo courtesy of Kate Ter Haar

I hear so many people dread mornings.  In fact, I used to be one of those people.  While I do like the occasional sleep in I really don’t mind mornings most days.  One thing to help you get up and get ready is to have a morning ritual.

When you first wake up you should have a way of staying relaxed and not getting rush.  Maybe you sit and read the comics in the newspaper with your coffee or maybe you take ten minutes to meditate about the awesome day to come.  The goal should be to slow your morning and get prepared rather than rushing out the door and feeling behind the entire day.

Oprah Winfrey makes it a point to say “Thank You” each morning when she awakes to be thankful for another day.  I think this is a wonderful way to start.

My morning ritual is still a work in progress.  However, Stefan Pylarinos over at Project Life Mastery has a wonderful video I have included below on his morning ritual.  There is some language in the video that some may not like so you have been forewarned but I think he gets some excellent points across.

One other resource to check out is the book “Rudder of the Day” by Dan Miller which talks about the first hour of the morning being your “rudder” setting the course for the remainder of your day.


Filed Under: Life Coaching Tagged With: , , , , ,
post

Impact

April 10, 2013 By
Server

Photo courtesy of torbakhopper.

What impact do you have on people in your day to day life?

Think about it for a second. You directly and indirectly influence, in some way, hundreds if not thousands of people’s lives each and every day.  It doesn’t matter what you do assuming you leave the house or pick up the phone.

Take for example the server in the picture.  He is providing a meal to the patrons which gives them the energy to go out and impact their hundreds of lives.  By working in the restaurant he providing a service to a paying customer which provides a job to cooks, cashiers, dish washers, and in the end turns a profit for the owner.  By working, the server is also providing a life for himself and possibly a family which in turn impacts more people.  This is a very shortened example and we could go on and on how this one server being a host to this one table alone has an effect on hundreds of people.

Now, I ask the question again, what impact do you have on people your day to day life?  Are you in a drive thru window handing out food?  If so, congratulations.  You are providing meal time with that family, helping a single mom who is working two jobs do one less thing that night, and you are impacting everyone you are working with.

Be proud of the impact you make and stand tall – you helped a lot of people today.

Filed Under: Customer Service, Life Coaching, Motivational, People Tagged With: , , ,
post

What do you want to be remembered for?

April 3, 2013 By
Remembered

Photo courtesy of James Lee.

I once heard you never really die until you are no longer remembered.  This begs the question: What do you want to be remembered for?

Take several minutes and think hard about this question.  Are you currently living in a manner you want people to remember you for?  Are you living in a way where you will be remembered at all?  These are some tough questions to answer but once you have the answers you can begin to develop the legacy you so desire.

 

Filed Under: Life Coaching Tagged With: , , , ,
post

Book Review: Love No Matter What by Brenda Garrison

April 3, 2013 By

Love No Matter What

“Love No Matter What” by Brenda Garrison is a book that talks about loving your children regardless of the decisions they make in life and whether or not you agree with those decisions.

The book comes from Garrison’s own struggles with her daughter Katie who also contributes to the book.  She talks about various social problems from her own daughter wanting to move out before they thought she was ready to kids who have drug and alcohol problems.

I think there is some good advice in the book, however, I feel there is to much suggestion to be passive.  One example was when Katie told her parents she was going to move out.  She asked for her college money that her parents had saved in order to pay her living expenses.  The reason given in the book to give her the money was “It was time for Katie to learn some hard lessons and for us to let her go – college money included.”  In Garrison’s own words she says they could have withheld the money but it would have been a moot point.  It may have been a waste of time to argue the point but as a parent I am not going to fund something I think is wrong for my child.  While I may not be able to stop them from doing things I disagree with once they are older I sure don’t have to finance it.

Children grow up and make mistakes but the way the examples in this book say to handle them suggests that we should just watch them fall in order to save the relationship with our children.  I think this is a broad statement to make as every parent’s relationship with their child is going to be different than the next and to infer that providing your guidance and advice might harm the relationship so we should sit on the sidelines and watch I think is a wrong suggestion.  Yes, sometimes you have to let your kids fail in order for them to learn but that doesn’t mean you don’t offer the advice or just agree to allow them to do something just to avoid conflict.

While my biggest critique is a large one I feel that some valid points are woven throughout the book.  “It is what it is” is a great message for parents to relieve guilt they may feel when their child has done something they feel like they taught better.  The book drives home the message that our children will grow up and are not copies of ourselves so we cannot expect them to do things like us and when they do something we don’t agree with it isn’t necessarily because we didn’t do something right as a parent.  Children grow up and have personalities of their own and no matter how close to perfect (can you get close to parenting perfectly?) you can parent you cannot change that fact.

If you would like to get other peoples point of view or purchase the book you can do so on Amazon.

*Note: I received a copy of this book at no charge in exchange for my honest review.*

Filed Under: Book Reviews Tagged With: , , , , , , ,
post

Book Review: How To Say It: Creating Complete Customer Satisfaction by Jack Griffin

April 1, 2013 By

Creating Complete Customer SatisfactionThis book is about how to sell and keep customers satisfied.  It is a thorough book going through the sales process all the way through handling with customer complaints about your product.  It also has lists of suggested words to use and words to stay away from which can be a great help to those who are writing marketing material.

I find the book to be a great reference for anyone whether you would consider yourself in sales not.  Even person at the customer service desk in a retail store can learn a great deal from this book.
I think the most important point that anyone can take from this text is to take care of your customer.  While this seems obvious I run into many companies that forget this fundamental lesson.  If each person who reads this book can grasp this one lesson along with the concepts presented you can win in business.
There were two things that annoyed me in this book.  One was the typos at the start that gave me a bad impression of the book at first.  This does go away rather quickly so don’t let it turn you off from reading it as it seems confined to the first section or so.
The second thing were the examples.  There was not a consistent theme with the example letters and e-mails.  The “company” name changed a few time and the format of the examples changed.  While it doesn’t make anything away from what the book is trying to teach it does get a little aggravating at the back and forth between the changes.  It would be easier for people to learn the material if there were more consistency in this area.
As a whole I would recommend anyone who works one on one with customers to read and absorb this book.  You will get a lot out of it.
If you would like to get other peoples point of view or purchase the book you can do so on Amazon.
*Note: I received a copy of this book at no charge in exchange for my honest review.*
Filed Under: Book Reviews Tagged With: , , , , ,
post

Thanks

March 27, 2013 By

EasterEaster is this weekend and I wanted to challenge everyone to think of one person in your life and say “Thank You” to them for something they have given to you.  Christians know what they were given on this day and those around you should know that you are thankful for them.

Happy Easter!

 

Filed Under: People Tagged With: , , ,
post

Luck

March 20, 2013 By
4 Leaf Clovers

Photo Courtesy of Christoph Rupprecht

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” Seneca

Saint Patrick’s Day was this past weekend when we celebrated the luck of the Irish.  But what about the luck in your life?

We all create our own luck.  If there is something you want to accomplish then go set the goals and do the work necessary so you can succeed.  If you have never done this then set a small goal and see how it feels to actually complete what you set out to do.  Complete a few short term, two week or less, goals and soon you will be doing 5 year goals.

Create Luck!

Filed Under: Goal Setting, Life Coaching Tagged With: , , , ,