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The Other Perspective

November 19, 2011 By

Perspective - Disney's Hollywood StudiosHave you ever thought about what the other person is thinking?  Even if they are being hateful what might be going on in their lives?

When someone cuts me off in traffic my first reaction is to get agitated.  Then I calm down and often the way I do this is to think to myself that I don’t know what is going on with that person and maybe it was an honest mistake.  When we have knee jerk reactions we tend to do or say things that we don’t mean or, at least, don’t mean them to be as hateful as we said them.

When someone pisses you off do you stop to think about what they are going through?  Do you try and look at it from their perspective?

Each of us are individuals with our own thoughts and minds and three of us looking at a picture might perceive three different things.  If you look at the picture to the left you might see something totally different than me.  Let’s say three people are looking at it and these are their perspectives:

  1. A quiet street.
  2. A nice shot of San Francisco with the Golden Gate Bridge in the background.
  3. A picture of a building.

All three people have legitimate perspectives.  It does look like a quite street (maybe it is early morning and the sun just rose.  You can see a bridge in the background which may very well be the Golden Gate leading you to believe this is in San Francisco.  And the brown building on the right tends to stand out a little so maybe that really is what this picture is of.

However, all three would be wrong.

This is a picture I took at Disney’s Hollywood Studios at Walt Disney World.  This was a backlot like they shoot movies on.  Those buildings are fake and the sky and buildings in the background are plastered on a wall.

This is simply a rather long explanation to say when someone does something you don’t like, don’t agree with, or what have you take a moment and try and see their perspective on the matter.  You still do not have to agree but looking at it from both sides can help you understand where the person is coming from and in matters where a decision has to be made can help to make one that satisfies all parties involved.

Filed Under: Life Coaching, People Tagged With: , , ,
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Negative People In Your Positive World

November 5, 2011 By

“The attitudes of your friends are like the buttons on an elevator. They’ll either take you up or they’ll take you down.” Alexander Lockhart

RolodexWhy associate yourself with negative people?   It is a very simple question with a huge impact.

Have you ever been so extremely happy one minute and then your friend comes by and you can feel your mood drop?  This may not happen right away but I am sure you have noticed someone around you that causes this to happen.  What do you do about it?  Most people stay around and never say anything about it and let it happen time and time again.

Don’t get me wrong.  We all have our bad days where we bring other people to the bottom of the barrel with us and that is one reason we have close relationships – so we have someone who will take that ride with us when needed.  But those around you who are doing it day after day are impacting your life in ways you may not even think about until you sit back and look.

So, take a moment and open your contact list on your phone or in your e-mail.  Who all are constantly negative?  Think about this hard.  Who always drags you down, dampens your attitude for the remainder of the day (or sometimes days), and then effects everyone around you as you are taking their negativity around?  It may be time to delete them.

“We all need a daily check up from the neck up to avoid stinkin’ thinkin’ which ultimately leads to hardening of the attitudes. ”  Zig Ziglar

 

Side note:  Want to learn how to deal better with a negative co-worker?  Check out Dealing With Toxic People on the A Daring Adventure blog.

 

Filed Under: Life Coaching Tagged With: , ,
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Listen To The Mustn’t

October 29, 2011 By
Shel SilversteinListen to the MUSTN’T, child,
Listen to the DON’Ts
Listen to the SHOULDN’Ts
The IMPOSSIBLES,
the WON’Ts
Listen to the NEVER HAVEs
Then listen close to me–
Anything can happen, child,
ANYTHING can be.
~Shel Silverstein
Shel Silverstein had it right all along.
No matter what you set out to do there will be detractors.  Those people who are going to bring you back down or try and knock you back.  Many times it is the people closest to us that make that attempt.  If you listen to Dave Ramsey any length of time he talks about the people that will make fun of you for getting out of debt because they say it cannot be done or they don’t see the point because you will always owe someone something.
Well, ANYTHING CAN BE!
You have to set your mind to accomplish whatever it is you desire and go do it.  The people around you may tell you that you can’t but you have to know you can.  A lot of the ones who say you can’t just feel like you are going to leave them behind while you are pursuing your path and you may have to reassure them that is simply not the case.  Others feel that they need to keep you on their level because they don’t want you “to be better than them” and you will have to tell them that you are the same person you have only accomplished what you want out of life and they can do the same.
See, they can do it to if they only have someone to tell them that they can.  Will you go out today or pick up the phone and encourage someone to follow their dream?  To find the career that fits them, to get out of debt, or to lose five pounds all it takes is a little encouragement.  I try to provide that to you with everything I write.  Will you go out and do it for someone else today?
Filed Under: Life Coaching Tagged With: , , , ,
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To Big To Tackle?

October 15, 2011 By

Turtle vs. StrawberryDo you have a task in your life that you feel that is to big to tackle?  Feeling overwhelmed or like to much is being put on you?  Well, there is an easy way to fix this.  Now, the way is easy – that does not mean your path to the end of the obstacle will be but it helps you get to the end.

How do you do it?  One step at a time.  Simple, right?  It really is that easy.  Take whatever you are dealing with at write it at the top of piece of paper.  Now write down small steps that you can do to help you get to the end.  Hang this up where you will see it and mark off the steps until you get to where you are going.

How do you eat an elephant?  One bite at a time!  – Author Unknown

Take any large task and break it down to it’s smaller steps.  Before you know it you will have accomplished something you thought was out of your reach.
 
 
 

Photo from Must Love Dogs by way of Jonfun.
Filed Under: Goal Setting, Life Coaching Tagged With: , , ,
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What do you think is enough?

October 8, 2011 By
Never Good Enough

Photo Courtesy of Evan Holloway

I run into people all the time who say that they do not have enough.  This is a very broad statement and one I think we all need to evaluate in our own lives.

What constitutes “enough” in your life?  Is having a loving family enough or do you need to own the house your family is in?  Is being able to pay the bills every month enough or do you need a million dollars in the bank?  There is no right or wrong here – just an evaluation of where “enough” stands for you.

Let us do something to take action.  Take three minutes and write a list of items that you feel satisfies your life.  This could be kids, money, family or could even be something like notebooks if you are a writer. Whatever you feel fulfills your life and you have enough write it down even if it wouldn’t make sense to anyone else.

Now,  beside that list make another column and write down items in your life that you don’t feel that you have enough of.  Same rules apply, whether it would make sense to anyone else is irrelevant and go for three minutes.  Just let it flow out of you as you write the list no matter how out there you think the item is.

Done?

Now, compare the two lists.  Do you see similarities?  If you wrote for the full three minutes I bet you do.  See how you can use what you have enough of to fill what you feel you do not have enough of.  Many times having it in front of you makes you realize you have more than you thought.  What about those things that you do not see similarities on?  Well, now is the time for you to determine how much of that thing you need to have enough, pull out your goal planner/calendar/paper and outline what specific steps you need to take to have enough.

Do you see what I did there?  You just learned another step in setting goals.  You have to figure out what you want or need out of life to be fulfilled before you can set a goal.  You need the target.  Now you should have several to shoot for.  Can’t say you don’t have any goals now can you?

Special thanks to Randy Pausch for teaching me the head-fake.

 

Filed Under: Goal Setting, Life Coaching Tagged With: , , ,
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Fall Is Upon Us

October 1, 2011 By

FallFall is upon us.  The changing seasons remind us that nothing stays the same.  We must change in order to grow just like the tree that must lose it’s leaves, which fertilizes the soil, which allows the tree to grow larger and stronger.

The next three months will be busy and hectic for the majority of people.  Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, birthdays, school plays, work and household commitments.  Sometimes it seems like it is never ending but we push ourselves and make it through and start a new year.  My hope for you, though, is that as you go through the season that you lose some of your leaves which helps you grow and be the person you want to be as we embark on this journey together.

Welcome to my favorite season.  One of cool weather, celebration, fun, and planning for the coming year.

 

Filed Under: Life Coaching Tagged With: , , , ,
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Time Management

September 3, 2011 By

Randy PauschFinding enough time in our lives is hard.  I have mentioned before about having 168 hours in your week and one way to get more time is to plan.  Another way is to watch the lecture below and learn.

Giving the lecture is Professor Randy Pausch.  You are likely to remember the name as he is the author of “The Last Lecture” which was released in 2008.  The premise of the last lecture in the academic world is to give the professors a chance to answer “If you could only give one final lecture before you pass what would you tell the world?”  Unfortunately this was more true for Randy Pausch as he had pancreatic cancer at the time he wrote his.

The following video is another lecture he gave during this same time frame on time management.  What better way to learn about time management than from someone who has not choice but to prioritize?

Filed Under: Life Coaching, Time Management Tagged With: , ,
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Indecision

August 27, 2011 By

IndecisionHave you ever had a hard time making a decision?  Has the delay in making one cost you something (time, money, job promotion, etc)?  In my job I have seen it cost all of these things to people and it was simply because they could not make up their mind.

Indecision can effect you and your loved ones, cost you opportunities in your home and work life, and keep your mind occupied so you cannot focus on tasks.  No matter whether your need to make a career decision or what to eat for dinner a delay can cost you.

Dan Miller in his book “48 Days to the Work You Love” says that he and his wife limit themselves to a two week window to make any kind of decision.  To help make their decisions they have a 5 step process:

  1. State the problem.
  2. Get the advice and opinions of others.
  3. List the alternatives.
  4. Choose the best alternative.
  5. Act.

And just like your third grade teacher telling you during those standardized tests that if you don’t know the answer 100% to take the first one that came to your mind, that can be good advice here.  In many instances your first thought of the right answer is going to be what is good for you.  Don’t make your decision based on your first assumption but look at that as a really good starting point and work from there.

Being able to make a decision is just as important as having goals and dreams.  If you have a dream and cannot decide whether or not to act upon it then where does that leave you?

Photo courtesy of spaceamoeba.

Filed Under: Life Coaching, Time Management Tagged With: , , , ,
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Failure Is An Event Not A Person

August 20, 2011 By

Walt Disney

“Remember that failure is an event, not a person” – Zig Ziglar

Everyone fails at one time or another and it can often feel like you will not recover.  How many times have you had the wind knocked out of you because of a “failure” only to discover a little ways down the road it wasn’t so bad?

Would you consider Walt Disney a failure?  Why would you not?  He was fired by a newspaper editor because “he lacked imagination and had no good ideas.”  He went bankrupt several times.  So why do you say he is not a failure?

Walt Disney took the failures and built on them and now we have the largest media conglomerate in the world based on his visions.  When you have a “failure” in your life see how you can learn from it and get back on your feet.  You never know what is waiting for you just around the corner.

Filed Under: Life Coaching Tagged With: , , ,
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Is it that hard to care?

August 13, 2011 By

Argue & TwistHave you ever had a problem with the service in any kind of establishment?  Sure, we all have at one time or another.

Have you ever asked to speak with the manager only to ind that though they are not arguing back you know you are going to walk out unsatisfied?

Any industry that has a customer needs to have customer service skills.  This means ALL businesses need customer service skills.  But how many times do you find the office manager who just doesn’t have the time to talk to you or in my case a dentist that can’t make himself apologize?

This past week my daughter went in to see the dentist.  She was getting a little work done which she has had previously with little issue.  She told the dentist twice that she was hurting and rather than take a moment to explain to my wife what the problem was he turned to his hygienist and told her to make an appointment where she could be sedated, tossed down the drill, and walked out.  Of course, my wife was upset by the lack of care so I called and talked to him to find out was going on.

After several minutes of explaining to him that the problem was not that he felt that he could not perform the work but that he didn’t take the time to explain what the problem was when my wife was sitting in the same room he continued to say “I assumed she knew what the problem was.” and “If she had a question she should have spoken up.”

Really?

The average person can see where the flaw in basic customer service is here.  All I wanted was to find out the problem and a simple apology for acting the way he did.  I really got neither since he didn’t care.  He didn’t even bother to argue his point.  It was simply our fault for not asking.

Your customers should not have to ask.  You should be out seeking their problems and finding solutions to them.  This is what keeps your customers happy and keeps them coming back to you.

If you are at a grocery store and there are no carts available at the door you have the option to go out and get one yourself.  It is your problem since you are the one wanting to shop.  How would you feel if his was the response you got at that store?

At Walt Disney World guests were forgetting where their cars were in the parking lot all the time.  The tram operators took it upon themselves to start writing down where they were in the parking lot at a certain time and this list of times is handed to cast members at the end of the day.  If you can not find your car but know what time you parked they can help you get in the general area of where you were picked up.  Where your car is parked is not their problem but they saw an opportunity to help their guests and did so.  By doing this you have less frustrated people who see their visit to your location as pleasant.  Was this a hard thing to do?  Absolutely not.

Now you have a decision to make.  Are you going to be like the dentist who will no longer be getting our business (he lost two patients with one unapologetic attitude) or are you going to be the tram operator who took the initiative?

Photo courtesy of Fimb.

Filed Under: Customer Service, Life Coaching Tagged With: , , , ,
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Welcome

April 23, 2011 By

welcomeWelcome to my blog.  The purpose of this part of the site is to post random thoughts about personal finance, saving money, and general life topics I think would be helpful.

Extreme Couponing and catching store deals is on the rise since the TLC program so I will cover some of that throughout the course of this blog.

Sit back, relax, and enjoy!

Filed Under: Life Coaching Tagged With: , ,