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Don’t Let It Overwhelm You

July 3, 2013 By
Overwhelmed

Photo Courtesy of Walt Stoneburner

Sometimes life can bury you under trials and tribulations (or Tribbles if you are a Trekker).  You feel like there is no direction you can turn where a problem doesn’t sit in the middle of your path.  What can you do when this happens?  Redraw your map.

When a lot of stuff is going on first thing you need to do is breathe.  Sit back and relax.  This might be a real good time to learn how to meditate if you don’t already do it.  You have to do this first and get a grip on your emotions.  Until this happens you can’t go any further.

Once you have gotten a bit relaxed determine what your elephant is.  What is the biggest out of all the problems?  Once you have decided what this is for you write down what you can do today to take steps to getting that elephant back into the wild.  While you may not be able to fix this problem on day one taking at least a small step will allow you a bit more breathing room.  Each time you get closer to eliminating it the better you will feel.

Once you have done at least one step towards the big problem do the same thing with all of the smaller ones.  Anything you can eliminate today, such as calling and making that apology you know you need to offer, making that doctor’s appointment for the physical you dread, or making a big financial decision, just go ahead and get it over with.  You will feel better, have one less thing that you need to deal with, and can focus your energy on everything else.

Now that you have taken some steps make it a point to make small steps each day until the overwhelming feeling is gone.  If you really put some effort forward it shouldn’t take long for you to have a bit more wiggle room.  And while this is a simplistic process that will not work for everyone, most people can eliminate quite a bit by doing this.  Give it a shot and see how it works for you.

Filed Under: Life Coaching, Motivational, People Tagged With: , , , ,
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Forgive Them For You

June 26, 2013 By
Forgivness

Photo Courtesy of Appu Shaji

Everyone has been mad, upset, or in deep emotional turmoil in the past due to someone’s actions or words.  Were you able to forgive them?  I hope so. Forgiving someone is for you; not for them. It is your ability to let go of the situation. Never ask if they deserve to be forgiven; ask if you deserve to forgive them.

Holding onto hate or rage when someone has done something against you does not hurt the other person.  Many times we hide these emotions because we don’t want to hurt them in return.  However, you need to release them for your own sake.  Why allow them to live in your mind and let you pay the emotional rent?

Take out a notebook or journal and for five minutes write about a hurt that you have been holding onto.  Describe the feelings in detail and get them all out on paper as if you were speaking to the person who hurt you directly.  At the end write “now I forgive you” and let it go.  I am not asking you to forgive and forget but  I am asking you to get that baggage off of you.

Letting these things go allows you to move past the situation and at the same time lowers your stress level.  Do yourself a favor and let it go.

Filed Under: Life Coaching Tagged With: , , , ,
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Who Shaped Your Life?

June 19, 2013 By
Jason Mraz

Musician Jason Mraz

Have you ever took a real look at how other people have shaped your life? Even the mean people who bullied and made fun of you in school. No matter what happened they helped shape the person that you have become today.

Take a few minutes and write down some of the people who helped you become the person you are.  Not the people who helped you get a job or repair your house but those that influenced your character; your being.  Reflect on those people and whether it was a good or bad experience at the time be thankful for the person that you are today.

Take a moment to watch the following video of “They Shaped My Life” by Jason Mraz to see what I am talking about.  I think this song sums up how we should all be grateful for who we are and the people who are written in our life story.

Filed Under: Life Coaching Tagged With: , , ,
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Isn’t That Interesting

June 12, 2013 By

Jim RohnOne of the most influential recordings that I listened to early on was Jim Rohn’s “Building Your Network Marketing Business.”  While the obvious focus was intended for network marketing I got so much more out of the hour I listened.  One of those jewels was Mr. Rohn’s quote “Isn’t that interesting.”

When something isn’t quite going your way simply say “Isn’t that interesting.” and move on.  This also works well when your someone comes up to you and says something or tells you to do something you don’t particularly care for.  You simply say the phrase and move on.

This technique does a few things:

1. It keeps you from saying something as a quick reaction and gives you a moment to think of an appropriate response.  Keep your foot out of your mouth in the front end and you won’t have the after taste.

2. It can defuse the situation if there is already some tension.  This can be especially true when you are using this phrase after your employer walks up.

3. It also keeps your stress level down.  Rather than get upset you allow yourself to be in another state of mind.

Give this a shot and see how much better you can feel during a stressful conversation or when you are given a quick instruction you might not agree with.  It is a thing of linguistic beauty.

Filed Under: Business, Life Coaching Tagged With: , , ,
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Remember the Journey

May 29, 2013 By
Oak Island, NC

Oak Island, NC – One of our journeys to the ocean.

Do you remember to remember your journey?

Many times getting to where you currently are or where you want to be is an extreme struggle.  You tend to want to forget the pitfalls and the things that tried your last nerve.  However, that journey is part of you and you should remember and be proud that you made it; that you were able to reach the destination.

Remember Wilson from the television show Home Improvement?  He told Tim a story about a gift.  This isn’t verbatim but it is the deep story:

There was a child in Africa who wanted to get his teacher a present but he had no money.  The child decided to walk two days to the ocean, picked up a handful of sand, and returned home.  Once there he gave his teacher the sand where she said “But the ocean is so far away!”  The little child responded “The journey was part of the gift.”

So remember, the journey is part of the gift to yourself.  Cherish it. Journal it.  Remember it.

 

Filed Under: Life Coaching Tagged With: , , , , , ,
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I Dare You

May 22, 2013 By
Jason Kincaid

Professional wrestler Jason Kincaid on top of the world doing a handstand overlooking a deep gorge.  Photo by Will Trotter.  Used with permission.

This week I wanted to share a small piece from the book “I Dare You” by William H. Danforth.  I hope it means something to you.

I loved it the first time I heard these lines.  We were digging through a bin of books and came across a small leather-bound red one with “I Dare You” in silver ink on the cover.  I dare you, after reading this, to go do amazing things for other people.

I DARE YOU!

IT IS DIFFICULT to put a challenge on paper. I would rather look you straight in the eye and say, “I dare you!” In my mind that’s exactly what I am doing. I am on one side of a table. You are on the other. I am looking across and saying “I dare you!”

I Dare You, young man, you who come from a home of poverty—I dare you to have the qualities of a Lincoln.

I Dare You, heir of wealth and proud ancestry, with your generations of worthy stock, your traditions of leadership—I dare you to achieve something that will make the future point to you with even more pride than the present is pointing to those who have gone before you.

I Dare You, young mother, to make your life a masterpiece upon which that little family of yours can build. Strong women bring forth strong men.

I Dare You. boys and girls, to make life obey you, not you it. It is only a shallow dare to do the foolish things. I dare you to do the uplifting, courageous things.

I Dare You, young executive, to shoulder more responsibility joyously, to launch out into the deep, to build magnificently.

I Dare You, young author, to win the Nobel prize.

I Dare You, young researcher, to become a Microbe Hunter.

I Dare You, boy on the farm, to become a Master Farmer—A Hunger Fighter.

I Dare You, man of affairs, to have a “Magnificent Obsession.”

I Dare You, Grandfather, with your roots deep in the soil and your head above the crowd, catching the rays of the sun, to plan a daring program to crown the years of your life.

I Dare You, who think life is humdrum, to become involved. I dare you who are weak to be strong; you who are dull to be sparkling; you who are slaves to be kings.

I Dare You, whoever you are, to share with others the fruits of your daring. Catch a passion for helping others and a richer life will come back to you!

William H Danforth

 

Filed Under: Business, Leadership, Life Coaching, Motivational, People Tagged With: , , , , ,
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Change Starts Within

May 8, 2013 By
What change do you want to see in the world?

Image courtesy of Dreamfish.

You can only control yourself.  No matter how much you want to change other people you have no control over them – you are not their keeper.  But if you really want to change the world look within yourself.  I can’t say it any better than this:

“When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country. But it too seemed immovable. As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me. But alas they would have none of it. And now as I realize as I lie on my deathbed, if I had only changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family. From their inspiration and encouragement I would have been able to better my country and who knows, I might have even changed the world.”

That inscription is on a tomb dated 1100 A.D. in Westminster Abbey.  I think the person who created it sums it up perfectly.
Filed Under: Life Coaching, Motivational Tagged With: , , , ,
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It Is How You Say It

April 24, 2013 By
words

Photo Courtesy of Susana Fernandez

My dad always told me “It isn’t what you say but how you say it.”  I lost count long ago on how many times I heard this as a child.  As an adult I can appreciate what it means.

When you are speaking with anyone whether it is personal or business you must say what you mean and how you mean it.  This is conveyed by tone of voice, volume, and, of course, body language.

Be conscience of how you speak to someone.  If you can tell that you are loud then make an effort to take your volume down a couple notches.

Speaking, just like all other skills, takes practice.  Actively practice and you can become great!

I wanted to share this video with you as well.  It shows that the words you use can change everything.  Enjoy!

Filed Under: Business, Leadership, Life Coaching, People Tagged With: , , , , , , ,
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Morning Rituals

April 17, 2013 By
Morning Sunrise

Photo courtesy of Kate Ter Haar

I hear so many people dread mornings.  In fact, I used to be one of those people.  While I do like the occasional sleep in I really don’t mind mornings most days.  One thing to help you get up and get ready is to have a morning ritual.

When you first wake up you should have a way of staying relaxed and not getting rush.  Maybe you sit and read the comics in the newspaper with your coffee or maybe you take ten minutes to meditate about the awesome day to come.  The goal should be to slow your morning and get prepared rather than rushing out the door and feeling behind the entire day.

Oprah Winfrey makes it a point to say “Thank You” each morning when she awakes to be thankful for another day.  I think this is a wonderful way to start.

My morning ritual is still a work in progress.  However, Stefan Pylarinos over at Project Life Mastery has a wonderful video I have included below on his morning ritual.  There is some language in the video that some may not like so you have been forewarned but I think he gets some excellent points across.

One other resource to check out is the book “Rudder of the Day” by Dan Miller which talks about the first hour of the morning being your “rudder” setting the course for the remainder of your day.


Filed Under: Life Coaching Tagged With: , , , , ,
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Impact

April 10, 2013 By
Server

Photo courtesy of torbakhopper.

What impact do you have on people in your day to day life?

Think about it for a second. You directly and indirectly influence, in some way, hundreds if not thousands of people’s lives each and every day.  It doesn’t matter what you do assuming you leave the house or pick up the phone.

Take for example the server in the picture.  He is providing a meal to the patrons which gives them the energy to go out and impact their hundreds of lives.  By working in the restaurant he providing a service to a paying customer which provides a job to cooks, cashiers, dish washers, and in the end turns a profit for the owner.  By working, the server is also providing a life for himself and possibly a family which in turn impacts more people.  This is a very shortened example and we could go on and on how this one server being a host to this one table alone has an effect on hundreds of people.

Now, I ask the question again, what impact do you have on people your day to day life?  Are you in a drive thru window handing out food?  If so, congratulations.  You are providing meal time with that family, helping a single mom who is working two jobs do one less thing that night, and you are impacting everyone you are working with.

Be proud of the impact you make and stand tall – you helped a lot of people today.

Filed Under: Customer Service, Life Coaching, Motivational, People Tagged With: , , ,
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What do you want to be remembered for?

April 3, 2013 By
Remembered

Photo courtesy of James Lee.

I once heard you never really die until you are no longer remembered.  This begs the question: What do you want to be remembered for?

Take several minutes and think hard about this question.  Are you currently living in a manner you want people to remember you for?  Are you living in a way where you will be remembered at all?  These are some tough questions to answer but once you have the answers you can begin to develop the legacy you so desire.

 

Filed Under: Life Coaching Tagged With: , , , ,
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Luck

March 20, 2013 By
4 Leaf Clovers

Photo Courtesy of Christoph Rupprecht

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” Seneca

Saint Patrick’s Day was this past weekend when we celebrated the luck of the Irish.  But what about the luck in your life?

We all create our own luck.  If there is something you want to accomplish then go set the goals and do the work necessary so you can succeed.  If you have never done this then set a small goal and see how it feels to actually complete what you set out to do.  Complete a few short term, two week or less, goals and soon you will be doing 5 year goals.

Create Luck!

Filed Under: Goal Setting, Life Coaching Tagged With: , , , ,
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Meditation

March 6, 2013 By
Meditation

Photo Courtesy of Richard Masoner

This post isn’t meant to be detailed.  Only to tell you that I think meditation is one of the greatest benefits you can do for yourself.  It doesn’t cost anything and you can do it anywhere.  When you are feeling mad or upset you can set yourself away from everyone for 5 minutes and do a short meditation to help calm down and refocus which helps to reduce stress and takes you away from a situation before you say or do something you didn’t intend to.

Meditation is a practice that helps you look within yourself.  There are various forms of meditation from helping you reflect on your day to focusing your mind.  No matter, my purpose of meditation is to calm and ground myself.

Meditation has been shown to ease health problems such as high blood pressure, depression, and anxiety (source).  It can help you focus and problem solve by sitting and concentrating while removing all outside distractions for a short period of time.

Out of the various forms, Transcendental Meditation is considered the most practiced.  You can find out more about TM here.

Starting March 11, you can also sign up to do a 21-day meditation challenge.  Try this out and see if meditation has anything to offer you.  You can find out more here.

Filed Under: Life Coaching Tagged With: , , , ,
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Self Education

February 27, 2013 By

self educationCollege isn’t for everyone.  I think it is obvious but we are still being encouraged to go to a traditional college after high school.  While I highly believe in education I think there are other ways of getting it.  20 years ago a traditional school may have been your best option, however, there is such easy access to material that self education can give you more knowledge than going to college.

If you want to go to college for the experience then go for it.  If you want to go because it is necessary for the path you want to live in life then go for it.  If you are going “because I’m suppose to” then do yourself a favor and take local classes and read books in the field that interests you.

Walt Disney didn’t go past his freshman year in high school but continued to educate himself through books and experiences his entire life.  Let me stress – FINISH HIGH SCHOOL, but explore all of your options for higher education and choose the best for you and not what is expected of you by others.

Filed Under: Careers, Goal Setting, Life Coaching, People Tagged With: , , , ,
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More Than One Answer

February 20, 2013 By
Thinking

Photo courtesy of College Degrees 360

Decisions, mostly, are not just an a or b answer.  How many times has your child asked you a yes or no question and instead of answering with yes or no you simply answered maybe?  You found a third answer when there only looked like two.

When you have a decision to make and it looks like you only have two options and they are both bad you need to search for the third.  Write down your possible answers, seek out the advice of a friend, or look to another source but look for your third, and hopefully better, option.

“I don’t believe in the no-win scenario.” William Shatner, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

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