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Don’t Let It Overwhelm You

July 3, 2013
Overwhelmed

Photo Courtesy of Walt Stoneburner

Sometimes life can bury you under trials and tribulations (or Tribbles if you are a Trekker).  You feel like there is no direction you can turn where a problem doesn’t sit in the middle of your path.  What can you do when this happens?  Redraw your map.

When a lot of stuff is going on first thing you need to do is breathe.  Sit back and relax.  This might be a real good time to learn how to meditate if you don’t already do it.  You have to do this first and get a grip on your emotions.  Until this happens you can’t go any further.

Once you have gotten a bit relaxed determine what your elephant is.  What is the biggest out of all the problems?  Once you have decided what this is for you write down what you can do today to take steps to getting that elephant back into the wild.  While you may not be able to fix this problem on day one taking at least a small step will allow you a bit more breathing room.  Each time you get closer to eliminating it the better you will feel.

Once you have done at least one step towards the big problem do the same thing with all of the smaller ones.  Anything you can eliminate today, such as calling and making that apology you know you need to offer, making that doctor’s appointment for the physical you dread, or making a big financial decision, just go ahead and get it over with.  You will feel better, have one less thing that you need to deal with, and can focus your energy on everything else.

Now that you have taken some steps make it a point to make small steps each day until the overwhelming feeling is gone.  If you really put some effort forward it shouldn’t take long for you to have a bit more wiggle room.  And while this is a simplistic process that will not work for everyone, most people can eliminate quite a bit by doing this.  Give it a shot and see how it works for you.

Filed Under: Life Coaching, Motivational, People Tagged With: , , , ,

Book Review: Boundaries for Leaders

July 1, 2013

Boundaries For LeadersBoundaries For Leaders by Dr. Henry Cloud is the second of Dr. Cloud’s books that I have had the pleasure of reading.  It is clear, concise and if you take the steps outlined you can make dramatic changes your in your life at home and at work.

From the press release: “In Boundaries for Leaders, clinical psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Henry Cloud leverages his expertise of human behavior, neuroscience, and business leadership to explain how the best leaders set boundaries within their organizations–with their teams and with themselves–to improve performance and increase employee and customer satisfaction.”

I honestly think this book could change an entire company for the better.  With over a decade of experience with a 300+ person business location I can tell you that I have seen many of these principles work in person.  I do not think it matters whether you have 5 or 500 on your team this book will help you lead better, build culture, and keep the negativity and energy draining annoyances at bay.

I highly recommend reading this book and absorbing what is taught.  While it did start out a bit slow for me it quickly picked up in Dr. Cloud’s style.  You can’t go wrong here – pick it up and be “ridiculously in charge.”

If you would like to get other points of view or purchase the book you can do so on Amazon.

*Note: I received a copy of this book at no charge in exchange for my honest review.*

Filed Under: Book Reviews, Business, Leadership Tagged With: , , , ,

Forgive Them For You

June 26, 2013
Forgivness

Photo Courtesy of Appu Shaji

Everyone has been mad, upset, or in deep emotional turmoil in the past due to someone’s actions or words.  Were you able to forgive them?  I hope so. Forgiving someone is for you; not for them. It is your ability to let go of the situation. Never ask if they deserve to be forgiven; ask if you deserve to forgive them.

Holding onto hate or rage when someone has done something against you does not hurt the other person.  Many times we hide these emotions because we don’t want to hurt them in return.  However, you need to release them for your own sake.  Why allow them to live in your mind and let you pay the emotional rent?

Take out a notebook or journal and for five minutes write about a hurt that you have been holding onto.  Describe the feelings in detail and get them all out on paper as if you were speaking to the person who hurt you directly.  At the end write “now I forgive you” and let it go.  I am not asking you to forgive and forget but  I am asking you to get that baggage off of you.

Letting these things go allows you to move past the situation and at the same time lowers your stress level.  Do yourself a favor and let it go.

Filed Under: Life Coaching Tagged With: , , , ,

Who Shaped Your Life?

June 19, 2013
Jason Mraz

Musician Jason Mraz

Have you ever took a real look at how other people have shaped your life? Even the mean people who bullied and made fun of you in school. No matter what happened they helped shape the person that you have become today.

Take a few minutes and write down some of the people who helped you become the person you are.  Not the people who helped you get a job or repair your house but those that influenced your character; your being.  Reflect on those people and whether it was a good or bad experience at the time be thankful for the person that you are today.

Take a moment to watch the following video of “They Shaped My Life” by Jason Mraz to see what I am talking about.  I think this song sums up how we should all be grateful for who we are and the people who are written in our life story.

Filed Under: Life Coaching Tagged With: , , ,

Isn’t That Interesting

June 12, 2013

Jim RohnOne of the most influential recordings that I listened to early on was Jim Rohn’s “Building Your Network Marketing Business.”  While the obvious focus was intended for network marketing I got so much more out of the hour I listened.  One of those jewels was Mr. Rohn’s quote “Isn’t that interesting.”

When something isn’t quite going your way simply say “Isn’t that interesting.” and move on.  This also works well when your someone comes up to you and says something or tells you to do something you don’t particularly care for.  You simply say the phrase and move on.

This technique does a few things:

1. It keeps you from saying something as a quick reaction and gives you a moment to think of an appropriate response.  Keep your foot out of your mouth in the front end and you won’t have the after taste.

2. It can defuse the situation if there is already some tension.  This can be especially true when you are using this phrase after your employer walks up.

3. It also keeps your stress level down.  Rather than get upset you allow yourself to be in another state of mind.

Give this a shot and see how much better you can feel during a stressful conversation or when you are given a quick instruction you might not agree with.  It is a thing of linguistic beauty.

Filed Under: Business, Life Coaching Tagged With: , , ,

Alive In Your Mind

June 5, 2013
Main Street USA

Main Street USA at Magic Kingdom

Why do some people make changes in their lives while others don’t? One of the key reasons is those that change can see the change in their mind before it happens.  If there is something you want you have to see that you already have it in your imagination.

Want to own a restaurant?  See it in your mind so vividly that you can see the menu and smell the food.  See the layout of your place and the guests sitting in at their table enjoying their food.  Revisit this in your mind over and over to where it becomes so real for you that you.  When you do this opportunities show up and when you grab them your dreams become realities.

One of the most notable imaginations of the 1900s was Walt Disney.  In the book “How to Be Like Walt” Pat Williams says this on page 84:

Though Walt envisioned Walt Disney World in Florida, he died before it was built.  On opening day in 1971, almost five years after his death, someone commented to Mike Vance, creative director of Walt Disney Studios,”Isn’t it to bad Walt Disney didn’t live to see this?”

“He did see it,” Vance replied simply.  “That’s why it’s here.”

See yourself where you want to be and take the journey as life allows you.  It may take some time but you can get there.

 

Filed Under: Business, Creativity, Motivational, People Tagged With: , , , , ,

Remember the Journey

May 29, 2013
Oak Island, NC

Oak Island, NC – One of our journeys to the ocean.

Do you remember to remember your journey?

Many times getting to where you currently are or where you want to be is an extreme struggle.  You tend to want to forget the pitfalls and the things that tried your last nerve.  However, that journey is part of you and you should remember and be proud that you made it; that you were able to reach the destination.

Remember Wilson from the television show Home Improvement?  He told Tim a story about a gift.  This isn’t verbatim but it is the deep story:

There was a child in Africa who wanted to get his teacher a present but he had no money.  The child decided to walk two days to the ocean, picked up a handful of sand, and returned home.  Once there he gave his teacher the sand where she said “But the ocean is so far away!”  The little child responded “The journey was part of the gift.”

So remember, the journey is part of the gift to yourself.  Cherish it. Journal it.  Remember it.

 

Filed Under: Life Coaching Tagged With: , , , , , ,

I Dare You

May 22, 2013
Jason Kincaid

Professional wrestler Jason Kincaid on top of the world doing a handstand overlooking a deep gorge.  Photo by Will Trotter.  Used with permission.

This week I wanted to share a small piece from the book “I Dare You” by William H. Danforth.  I hope it means something to you.

I loved it the first time I heard these lines.  We were digging through a bin of books and came across a small leather-bound red one with “I Dare You” in silver ink on the cover.  I dare you, after reading this, to go do amazing things for other people.

I DARE YOU!

IT IS DIFFICULT to put a challenge on paper. I would rather look you straight in the eye and say, “I dare you!” In my mind that’s exactly what I am doing. I am on one side of a table. You are on the other. I am looking across and saying “I dare you!”

I Dare You, young man, you who come from a home of poverty—I dare you to have the qualities of a Lincoln.

I Dare You, heir of wealth and proud ancestry, with your generations of worthy stock, your traditions of leadership—I dare you to achieve something that will make the future point to you with even more pride than the present is pointing to those who have gone before you.

I Dare You, young mother, to make your life a masterpiece upon which that little family of yours can build. Strong women bring forth strong men.

I Dare You. boys and girls, to make life obey you, not you it. It is only a shallow dare to do the foolish things. I dare you to do the uplifting, courageous things.

I Dare You, young executive, to shoulder more responsibility joyously, to launch out into the deep, to build magnificently.

I Dare You, young author, to win the Nobel prize.

I Dare You, young researcher, to become a Microbe Hunter.

I Dare You, boy on the farm, to become a Master Farmer—A Hunger Fighter.

I Dare You, man of affairs, to have a “Magnificent Obsession.”

I Dare You, Grandfather, with your roots deep in the soil and your head above the crowd, catching the rays of the sun, to plan a daring program to crown the years of your life.

I Dare You, who think life is humdrum, to become involved. I dare you who are weak to be strong; you who are dull to be sparkling; you who are slaves to be kings.

I Dare You, whoever you are, to share with others the fruits of your daring. Catch a passion for helping others and a richer life will come back to you!

William H Danforth

 

Filed Under: Business, Leadership, Life Coaching, Motivational, People Tagged With: , , , , ,

Go First

May 15, 2013

Jon AcuffOn a recent EntreLeadership Podcast Jon Acuff mentioned something I really liked and wanted to share.  He mentioned that as a leader you need to take the first step and allow everyone else to go second.  Why?  Because it is easier to go second and more people will follow.

This is something all leaders need to understand.  To get people to follow you have to go first (sounds obvious, right?).  But so many “leaders” want to tell people where to go instead of leading them where to go.  People are more likely to follow your actions.

Imagine working in a fast food business and you see your manager empty the trash every night while you are doing the final cleaning.  He doesn’t call attention to it but you notice that he is doing it.  One night he is swamped with office work and without considering anything you simply go and take out the trash without being asked.  Why did you do this?  Some will answer because it is their job.  I expect many others will say it is because their LEADER does it all the time they were willing to help him out without being asked.

There was an excellent TED Talk by Derek Sivers on “How to Start a Movement” where one person is in a park and starts dancing (the leader) which made it easier for a second person, then more, and more, and more until they had a group.  The hardest thing was not the dancing but being the first one to dance.

If you want to be a leader then do it first.


[ted id=814]

Filed Under: Business, Leadership Tagged With: , , , , ,

Change Starts Within

May 8, 2013
What change do you want to see in the world?

Image courtesy of Dreamfish.

You can only control yourself.  No matter how much you want to change other people you have no control over them – you are not their keeper.  But if you really want to change the world look within yourself.  I can’t say it any better than this:

“When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country. But it too seemed immovable. As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me. But alas they would have none of it. And now as I realize as I lie on my deathbed, if I had only changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family. From their inspiration and encouragement I would have been able to better my country and who knows, I might have even changed the world.”

That inscription is on a tomb dated 1100 A.D. in Westminster Abbey.  I think the person who created it sums it up perfectly.
Filed Under: Life Coaching, Motivational Tagged With: , , , ,
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